Funny Birthday Wishes, Messages and Quotes

Funny Birthday Wishes

Stop counting the candles on your birthday cake- you will get tired. Have a blast today.

There’s nothing to be worried about getting old. Look at you; you are old and still doing great. Happy Birthday dear oldy.

Congratulations on reaching a new level in the game called life. Have a fun birthday!

You have been alive for so many years, and all you have gained in life is a big fat belly. That’s a big achievement for the loser. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, love. I thought of getting you the best present ever. Sadly, I’m too big to fit in the gift box.

Everyone grows old but not everyone can grow wise. Please don’t be sad, my friend. Not everyone needs wisdom too. Happy Birthday!

Age is just a number, just like your salary. They keep increasing every year! So, why feel sad for one and happy for the other. Cheers to your birthday!

Happy birthday to someone who is too sweeter than sugar and spicy than Mexican chili.

Hope you will not get sad over the number of candles on your cake. Many happy returns of the day, my love.

You are just as annoying as you were on day one. Stay the same and have a happy birthday!

You have officially gotten past the teenage years. It’s time to be mature and stop expecting birthday gifts from people. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, don’t be sad. At least you are not as old as you are going to be the next year. Be happy thinking about that!

You have been here for a long time, perhaps since the age of the cave people. No wonder why you are so backdated. Happy Birthday!

It’s a very good day to identify all the liars around you. Don’t get fooled by the one that tells you you are still young and beautiful. Happy Birthday

You might be getting bigger, but sure as hell, your intelligence isn’t. Enjoy the birthday anyway.

Do you know how I always remember your birthday? Well, Facebook does the work for me. Anyways, HBD dear.

There’s no shame in thinking like a teenage boy when you are old as the hills. Wishing you a Happy Birthday. May you live long!

A man is as big as his imagination and as old as his age. True for you. Happy Birthday. I’m glad that you still have your teeth.

Another birthday of yours! It seems almost as if you’ve been polluting the earth forever.

Please get a confetti cake for your birthday. Since you are no fun, at least the cake should be.

Happy birthday. The older you’re getting, the more of a child you’re becoming. Grow up now, will you?

I wish some people would stop wasting things. Just like you. You are wasting space on the earth and certainly wasting the time of others. Happy Birthday!

You must be tired of blowing the candles off on your birthday! Jokes apart, Happy Birthday!

Your birthday is so special that it needs to be listed as a holiday! Happy Birthday!

You have come a long way from celebrating your first birthday full naked to now being fully covered! Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, dearest. Hope to live long enough to post your wrinkled face and toothless photos.

Another year closer to getting the old citizen privileges! Happiest birthday, have a great one.

Warmest greetings on your day, if someone tries to tag you on “Oldie club” whack them with your walking stick and curse them with your toothless mouth. Have a blessed day.

Funny Birthday Messages

Another delicious cake is going to be wasted today for the birthday of a useless person whose existence in this world makes no difference at all. Happy Birthday to that person!

Today, anyone not mentioning in their wishes that you have gotten old and ugly is a liar. Anyway, Happy Birthday dear, you are aging beautifully each year!

Even if I was smoking cracks, I would still see the sign of aging on your face. How could anyone not notice that? Happy Birthday dear but you have to accept the truth!

If you are good at something, don’t do it for free. And if you are good at nothing, just shut up and don’t ask for a gift. Happy Birthday!

A guy texts you on your phone, wishes you a Happy Birthday, and the next day, you think he’s gonna buy you some gifts? No, he is the one asking for a treat. Happy Birthday!

The saddest truth of life is that some people get older without being wiser. You remind me of those unfortunate people. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends

Happy Birthday my friend! The size of your cake and your body seems to get bigger each year!

Age is just a number, and so are restaurants bills! Happy birthday, do remember to buy me food!

A star was born on this day. I mean, you were too. But I’m referring to a celebrity.

The night is still young, but you, my friend, aren’t anymore. Let’s still party, though!

I’m pretty sure you are missing your childhood so much. That’s exactly what people do when they get old. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday my friend! Now thank me for wishing you my valuable time!

Some people are old, some are beautiful and some are both. You are not old enough to be called ‘old’ and certainly not good looking enough to be called ‘beautiful. Happy Birthday!

Friends like you make me feel younger and more handsome. I wish you have two birthdays a year so you get older twice as fast as me. Happy Birthday!

Dear friend, hope this day comes again and again in your life after all this is the only day we do not complain listening to your whining. Happy birthday xx

If you need help with the candles let me know, dear friend. Happy birthday.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Brother

You can pretend to be old when you are dead. Till then, you are just a little kid who wants to grow up someday. Happy Birthday, baby brother!

Happy Birthday dear brother. I hope you will remain just as annoying as now even when you are 100 years old.

Happy Birthday to the boy who was found on the road and picked up by my parents. Wish you all the good things in life, brother!

This is the day you arrived to steal my share of mom and dad’s love. Happy birthday, brother.

The only good your birth has brought is your dumbness. It has been entertaining me for years!

Dear brother, happiest birthday. Growing up so fine just like- wine? Nope, like tomato juice. Tangier.

You are the epitome of stupidity and a living legend for annoying people. Bad luck for me that you are my brother. Happy Birthday!

You know your life is a mess when your stupidity is increasing disproportionally to your age. That’s you brother. Happy Birthday!

Life can be so unfair at times. I don’t know what bad I did in life to deserve such an annoying brother like you. Happy Birthday!

I wish your IQ rose just like your age! Happy Birthday brother!

There is no way in the world you can be of any assistance except for treating us on your birthday! Happy Birthday brother!

You are my favorite bald man, know that. Happy birthday, my champ dear brother!

Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister

I know you would have been so happy if I said, “you are aging so beautifully”. But sadly. Lying is not one of my good qualities. Happy Birthday!

Enjoy your birthday this year to the fullest because who knows, after a few years, you might feel ashamed of your true age. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday my first, only, and last sister! Without you, there is no one to irritate!

Do you know why you are my favorite sister? Because you are dumb and you don’t even know it. Happy Birthday my dear!

Happy Birthday Sister. As a kid, you were a lioness. But with the rising age, you’re becoming a lazy cat.

Today’s the day mom found you in a dustbin. You’ve grown up, but the smell just won’t go away. Happy Birthday to mom’s second favorite child.

Birthday wishes nowadays are so full of lies. They may make you smile but the truth is you are not more beautiful than you were last year. Happy Birthday!

Do you know what amuses me the most? Seeing that you are unable to hide your age even with this heavy makeup. Happy Birthday, loser!

One more year has gone from your life and it seems like you are on a mission to be the fattest girl in the world. Good luck with that. Happy Birthday!

So many candles but so little cake- don’t be upset. We will get you another cake just to stuff in your mouth. Happy birthday. Love you, sissy.

Sister blister, here’s to another year full of questionable actions. Happy birthday, bub. May you be lesser of a stupid this year.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Him

I hope you have a great birthday my love! In fact, I know you will! As I am in it! Happy Birthday!

Wish you many more years of tolerating my tantrums. Happy birthday, honey.

No matter how old you are, I will always give you the bigger share of the cake! Happy birthday to you, darling!

Happy birthday, baby. Don’t fear getting old; being with an enticing lady like me, your youth is going to last much longer than expected!

Happy birthday to you, love. To celebrate your increasing age, let’s increase your cash transaction too! Let’s go shopping.

The wrinkles on your face make me feel so relieved because you’ve got no options other than me anymore!

He celebrates his birthday every year because he has to feed me for his birthday gift each year!

I hope you are the happiest that you get to celebrate it with your finest present, yeah- that’s me. Enjoy the day, love. Happy birthday.

So, dear fav man- you are already (insert age)? My condolences. But no worries- gonna love you anyways. Happy birthday, dearest.

Funny Birthday Wishes for Her

Happy Birthday to the one girl in my life who I wish never came into my life! Jokes apart, happy birthday girl!

No matter how much you mature, I’m always going to snuggle you like a baby. Happy birthday, my girl.

I thought of getting you as many flowers as your age, but we don’t have enough space to keep so many flowers at home.

I didn’t get you a birthday cake; because no cake can nearly be as sweet as you. Or maybe, I forgot to get one.

Wish you a happy birthday, my princess. May your weight be disproportionate to your age.

Happy birthday baby. I hope to see you wearing the outfit you were born in; someday soon!

I wish to not wish you on your birthday. I wish to wish me your birthday for tolerating you for so long! Just kidding! Happy Birthday!

Don’t freak out over your grey hair, they say- it’s a sign of your wisdom. And baby, you’re my evil genius. Happy birthday xx

You are the youngest (insert age) years old, darling. Damn! How do you manage to look this fine at this age?

Funny Birthday Messages for Colleagues

Happy birthday, my friend from work. Let’s keep making fun of the bosses behind their backs.

I have to appreciate the way you try to act like a young man. You must be having a busy time coloring your hair black every day. Happy Birthday!

Let’s have a night out in honor of your birthday. Let’s drink and party all night long. And of course, let’s not hope we end up at the hospital tomorrow. Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, workmate! Good going on your way to becoming the oldest man in the office.

Maybe use a portion of your this month’s salary to fill my stomach, please? Happy Birthday Colleague!

Age is just like a badge of honor. The older you are, the more respected you are in the office. Happy Birthday to you. Wish you all the best!

We decided to buy a bog, sweet birthday cake for you. Although we are not sure if you are allowed to eat cake at this age. Happy Birthday!

No one remains young forever. But you should have stayed young for at least a couple of years, at least for me. Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Wishes For a Boy

I will not wish you this birthday. Unless you take me on a date! Happy Birthday anyways!

Wishing you a very happy birthday, boy! Now give me my toy!

Your birthday is today. Sad birthday! Because now I cannot sleep as think of your birthday planning!

Happy birthday to the guy who doesn’t act according to his age but totally should. Have a dope one.

Everyone gets to enjoy their youth man but today your one ends. Welcome to the oldie club. Hbd.

Hope you enjoy my gift on your happy day, the ghost hug- okay don’t be mad. Drinks on me on your 100th birthday.

Funny Birthday Wishes For a Girl

Don’t blow any candles today; your makeup will be destroyed! Happy Birthday!

It feels funny to be around you and realize how younger you are getting each year!

Tell me your biggest secret this birthday! Your age! Happy Birthday! 

Happy birthday to this old lady who knows how to take charge. Let’s have a blast on your birthday, dear.

Each passing birthday you become less annoying than the year before. Happy birthday, dummy.

Just so you know, you are getting younger but in reverse, you are winning at life, girl. Happy birthday.

Funny Birthday Captions

Wishing you a birthday full of cake on your face! Happy Birthday!

Wishing you more grey hairs each year! Happy Birthday!

Let your eyeglasses become more powerful this year! Happy Birthday!

Let this birthday help raise more candle sales! Happy Birthday!

Stop stressing over because studies say- people who celebrate more birthdays live a longer life than average people. Happy birthday.

Happiest birthday, a year older but not wiser. May God put some brain on you this year, bubblehead.

Funny birthday wishes are one of the most impactful things you can use to make someone smile on their special day. It’s their birthday after all! And when those wishes come with a touch of humor, it becomes even more special! Because, there is a good chance you made the birthday boy or girl smile, even if for one second.

Funny birthday wishes can make someone’s day really special and enjoyable! Funny birthday greetings can definitely boost up a person’s mood. And they may remember you for a long time, or at least till the next birthday. But one piece of advice: do not make the wish so funny that it becomes an insult! You don’t want to hurt them on their special day.

It takes skill and art to come up with short funny birthday messages and wishes. You want to be funny but not so that it becomes a hurtful message. Our above collection of funny birthday wishes should help you convey your thoughts to a friend or family member if you run out of ideas. They are drafted in such a way that these give a feel of humor but with class and confined to humor only.

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